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Growing up, my parents had my sister and I hiking, skiing, camping, and whitewater rafting from (almost) day 1. It was a part of life, ingrained into us whether we wanted it or not. I thank them for it, because getting into the outdoors has been a natural part of life for me for as long as I can remember.

I realize that this is not everyone’s experience. In talking to people, and particularly women, a lot of times they aren’t sure where to start. Where to go. What to prepare. If you fall into this category, here are a few ideas to get you thinking, and maybe even get you out there.

What interests you?

Does hiking a trail sound adventurous to you? How about paddling on a smooth-as-glass lake, listening to the peaceful sound of gliding through the water? Maybe sliding down a slope on skis or a snowboard sounds interesting, or perhaps using skis or snowshoes to power yourself up a hill is intriguing.

Decide what outdoor activity is most appealing to you, and then figure out if logistically and financially you can pursue it. Perhaps finances are an issue and will play into what you choose. For example, you can take a hike basically (minus good shoes or boots and appropriate clothing) for free, but skiing will cost you in both accessing the ski area (nationally, tickets average $85/day) and in the gear (think skis/snowboard, boots, poles, socks, base layer, mid-layer, waterproof pants, jacket, hat, gloves, goggles, helmet…). Either way, if getting into the outdoors is your goal, pick something that interests you and then research what you’ll need for that particular activity to get you going.

In some places, you can access a water source, such as a lake, for free, but in others this is more difficult. Heads up for those park access fees. A little preparation and research before you go will help avoid any surprises. Recreation.gov is a great starting point for this.

Renting gear is a great way to start out without making a huge financial investment and commitment before you know you’ll enjoy it. Outdoor stores, ski areas, and lakes often provide rentals to get you going.

Are you going solo or with a partner/group?

Maybe you have a friend or family member who you know does the activity you’ve chosen. If so, ask them to take you with them next time! Or perhaps there is a lesson or a group you could join to get you started if solo-ing is too intimidating. Local Facebook groups and a quick Google search can generally put you in touch with others in your area looking for outdoor buddies. Your local outdoor retail store might have events they host or promote, so look for a bulletin board in the store or an online calendar. REI hosts events and classes monthly- these are a great opportunity to plug into your local outdoor community.

If your outdoor experience is limited, going with someone else can be very helpful. You can learn a lot from others, and, it’s just enjoyable to experience things with another person or group of people! My post, 3 Lessons I’ve Learned Adventuring with Others, talks about what I’ve learned personally from spending time outdoors with people.

If you have the means to travel, choosing a destination via a guided tour can be a great way to get outdoors with some oversight and guidance. Below are a resources I use to dream up and go on my own adventures:

• REI Adventures: Did you know REI does guided trips? You can choose either by destination, location, or even specific categories such as “Family Adventures”, “Under 35”, or “Volunteer Vacations”. This trips are also categorized by Activity Level so there is something available for everyone.
• TravelingJackie: Yeah, she happens to be my best friend, but she also knows how to put travel adventures together in an amazing way (see photo above). She works with local guide companies for each trip to ensure you get the best, most authentic experience she can provide. #jumpwithjackie won’t be something you’ll regret.
• National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS): This is a unique opportunity to pair an outdoor adventure with an education component. I attended a Wilderness First Responder course with them years ago and found it to be an invaluable experience. Their expedition courses range from 1 week long to 1 year long, spanning from wilderness-based medicine to improving leadership skills.

Prepare for your adventure!

A little research before you go isn’t just smart, it ensures your personal safety is being considered as well. Location, gear, and weather are 3 essentials you’ll want to know the basics of before you go.

Location/accountability: Whenever you venture outdoors, it’s wise to let someone know where you’re going and when you plan to be back- check in with them when you’ve returned. Accountability is important! At the very least, leave a visible note in your car with your name, trail taken, and time you expect to return on it.

Research the area you’re going to before you go. If you choose a trail, don’t assume you’ll have cell service the whole time. You can download a map app before you go; this will allow you to use it even if you don’t have service. One of my favorites for hiking is All Trails. The free version allows you to search local trails and download maps you can use even when you have no service. You can track your route, and keep a record of where you’ve been and what’s ahead of you, as well as read comments from others who have used the trail.

Gear: Finding the appropriate gear for your activity can be more crucial with certain activities, but is something to consider, nonetheless. You don’t have to spend a small fortune (because trust me, you CAN!) to get outdoors, but having a few key items can make your experience more enjoyable. Secondhand stores (especially those in outdoor-centric communities) are a great place to start if you’re looking for a deal.

REI has an amazing Expert Advice page for multiple activities, gear lists, advice from experts, etc. When I first got into backpacking, I used their gear list as a starting point and it still lives in our backpacking bin.

Weather: Doing a quick check on the weather before you go is a crucial part of your safety in the outdoors. Just because you wake up to blue skies doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way all day (#Nevadaweather anyone?), so pinpointing the area you’ll be in and reviewing the weather for the time you’ll be out there is just smart. It will also determine your packing list for the activity at hand and expected weather. You can use your phone’s weather app, or, to get more specific, look at the general forecast on the National Weather Service site.

Practice Leave No Trace (LNT) Principles

No matter where you go and what you do, leaving the outdoors better than you found it will ensure a better experience for the next person. Practicing the 7 LNT Principles from day 1 is essential. These are:

• Plan Ahead & Prepare
• Travel & Camp on Durable Surfaces
• Dispose of Waste Properly
• Leave What You Find
• Minimize Campfire Impacts
• Respect Wildlife
• Be Considerate of Other Visitors

To read more about each of these, check out lnt.org. Spread the word!

GO!

You can plan and prepare and think it to death but at the end of the day, action speaks. Experiencing the outdoors is much different than reading and researching it. Taking the leap into it is something I can almost guarantee that you won’t regret. Just GO. 

Don’t let the outdoors intimidate you- a healthy respect for it will go a long way to ensure your personal safety, and, ultimately, your enjoyment. If you have any questions that Google can’t answer, ask me! I’m by no means an expert in every outdoor activity, but I can at least point you in the right direction if I don’t know the answer. Also, if you need an adventure buddy, let me know…I just might be available to join you on your maiden voyage into my favorite place. 

I had a few people read my last blog, Why One Day is Now, and ask me how, in practical ways, they can start moving in that direction. I loved the conversations that this post sparked and figured I’d let you all in on the process I use to make “one day now” as often as possible. Sometimes a simple adjustment to our thought process can produce big life changes. These few points help me with that. Maybe they’ll help you too!

Take your time with each of these. Perhaps get out a pen and paper and write things down. Return a few days later and look at what you wrote, adding and removing where necessary. I kept each point pretty simple as to not muddy it up too much with my own thoughts and opinions.

Identify Your Values

Values guide your decisions, are what you believe, and are likely non-negotiable for you. Basically, these are the most important things to you in life. Come up with 3-5 of your own personal values. 

Tip- If this is hard for you, take a look at your bank account and see what you’re spending your money on. Your finances are a great place to gut-check yourself, because we tend to spend our hard-earned resources on what is important to us. Does it match up at all? Perhaps it’s time to make some adjustments in your personal expenditures to better align them with your values. #adulting

Prioritize Your Values (As Best You Can)

Once you’ve identified what your values are, try to put them in order of importance. Deciding what is the most important thing in your life can be challenging, so again, no rush. It might help to jot down a statement or a few words about each of your values that indicates WHY it made the list. Knowing the why gives true meaning to something. 

Check Your Alignment

This might sound like a yoga thing, but that’s not what I’m referring to here. Once your values are prioritized, take a look at what you’re saying yes to on a daily basis. What commitments do you have? What are you spending your money on? Do your commitments and the things you’re spending the majority of your time, energy, and finances on align with what you wrote down as being most important to you?

If so, good for you. That means you likely are already making “one day now”, or at least cruising toward it. If not, what do you need to adjust? What changes can you make to better align with your prioritized values?

Now, of course we all have to do things on a daily basis that we just have to do that don’t necessarily fall into the “things dreams are made of” category. Doing the things we have to do (and not necessarily what we WANT to do) in a graceful way is character-building. However, I’m talking about the things that take up the majority of our time- the big ones; the things we lay awake thinking about at night, the things we’re in financial debt over, the time and energy consumers. Reflecting on, reorganizing, and re-prioritizing them could be a game changer.

These are the tools I use, and, while basic, have really helped me (in conjunction with a lot of prayer and conversations with those closest to me), especially in light of the social pressure to “do” and “have” and “be” something else.

When I return to my values, prioritize them accordingly, and make or break any commitments based on these rather than what culture tells me I “should” do, I can feel confident in my decisions and in the choices my family has made together. And that brings me into the present, making “one day now“.

I recently learned that someone I worked with for years, who just retired in November 2019 after 30 years of hard work, passed away. This news came a week after I found out that a 25-year old friend who had just begun their career in law enforcement and gotten engaged to the love of his life, never woke up after going to sleep one night. A friend’s mom passed away before Christmas at an age that used to sound old, but as my own parents age, doesn’t sound so old anymore. These aren’t the first untimely deaths of friends I’ve experienced, but back-to-back during the holiday season when things are “supposed” to be joyous and happy and life-filled, hit hard. 

It made me step back and reflect. I took a hard look at what I’m spending my time doing. I thought about how I treat those around me, especially the ones I love most. It also made me think about the last few years, since I left my government job in wildland fire, and ask myself a few questions about the thought process I’ve tried to implement since making this big life change.

Do you ever hear yourself saying any of the following statements? 

“One day I’ll travel there.”

“One day I’ll have more time.”

“One day I’ll get to that.”

“One day I’ll call that person.”

“One day I’ll have enough money to go there.”

One of the reasons I resigned from my government job was because I started hearing myself saying “one day” too often. 

My awareness of this came about the same time I saw a few people I worked with, who worked until retirement age, pass away within months of leaving their long-time jobs. They were responsible, they worked hard for 30+ years, and were probably “set for life” because of the wise decisions they made professionally and financially. I admired them, and also mourned the loss of the time they had planned so meticulously for that they would never see.

There is nothing wrong with setting your life up this way; for some of us it’s a necessity. Working hard at whatever you choose to do is admirable and important. I did, however, find myself away from home for weeks at a time, spending long days at the office and coming home drained and stressed, and saying yes to a lot of things that felt trivial and tedious. I began to wonder if “one day” could be closer than my overscheduled and overstressed life allowed. I realized it could be, but not without some major changes.

When I left my job to spend more time with my family, I made the conscious decision to make “one day” TOday as often as I could. I realize more and more that time is irreplaceable. We cannot buy more of it and we cannot get it back once it’s gone. Making time for the things we want to do “one day” is so important to do NOW. 

Yes, I gave up a lot of earthly security when I left my job. A substantial paycheck every 2 weeks. Paid vacation. Sick leave. Retirement. Health insurance. All things that are pretty important in a world that just keeps getting more expensive. There was (and still is!)  a lot to figure out, to adjust to, and to restructure in the way of finances and expectations.

However, with this change, I gained TIME. Time to say yes to friends. Time to spend with my family. Time to serve others. Time to be creative, to write, to be outside. Time to be. Present. 

So I dedicate this to those who have passed away before it felt fair to us left behind. Their time on earth is up, cut short so quickly. Through us, their memory is kept alive. We can live with intention and purpose, honoring them with the time we are blessed to still have. Their “one days” all disappeared, but ours still remain. 

What are you saying “one day” to that could be less of a dream and more of a reality? Less in the future and more in the present? What steps do you need to take towards making that happen? You don’t have to leave a job to gain perspective, but one decision can move you closer to “one day” becoming now. 

I wrote this blog during my time as a CrossFit coach. After spending the last week down and out with the flu, I came back to what I wrote over a year ago. It helped me while dealing with my sickness, and I thought it might be appropriate timing to share it again.

Most people with an active lifestyle have experienced some kind of setback, and generally it’s an ill-timed sickness or an injury (is there EVER a good time for one of those?!). It can be extremely frustrating, sometimes downright scary, and often requires adjusting your “normal” routine. Maybe you have to dial back the intensity or number of workouts you’re doing, or perhaps there are things you just have to take a total break from. Sometimes a medical professional gives you news you don’t want to hear based on an x-ray or MRI or some other test. That could mean just a temporary disruption of your level of activity or…more than that. Think, that dreaded 7-letter word surgery, or perhaps something as serious as a terminal diagnoses. For those of us who have developed the habit of working out daily or getting outside and moving frequently, these things can, yes, derail us physically but they can totally crush us mentally. We can go from the highest high to the lowest low with a single lift, fall, or doctor’s visit. 

Before you tune out due to the seemingly depressing place this is heading, hear me out…our attitude determines our experience. We can choose to look at a bump (ranging from a minor speed bump to Mount Everest) in the road as an obstacle or an opportunity. It is really easy to go down a path of focusing on everything you could do before and can’t do now. It is a huge bummer when something like this happens, especially because it often seems like an injury or illness follows a time where we actually feel like we’re making improvements in our performance or are just starting to get to a good place. We ask, “why now?”, “why me?”, and we can experience a range of negative emotions. I can’t answer those questions for you all and am certainly not advocating a “get over it” mentality. However, from personal experience, I’ve seen that there is often an opportunity and things to be learned from a setback. 

Recently, I’ve dealt with a few injuries that have sidelined me from what I’m used to doing daily and after going through a range of thoughts and feelings, have seen some opportunities arise from my obstacles that I thought I’d share.

First of all, it’s been a chance to really take a good look at the things I’ve taken for granted (oftentimes my health and abilities) and return to gratefulness for what I do have and can do. Second, it has shown me the importance of empathy and humility; when we can open our eyes to what others around us are dealing with, it’s humbling and redirects our overall perspective. Perhaps lending them an ear of genuine concern and care is more important than your agenda for the day. Third, it has given me the time to look at what I’m valuing and what I’m finding our worth and identity in and do some self-evaluation to see if my priorities are in line with what I say is important to me. 

None of this means these experiences are easy. They can be downright tough and even completely tragic.

When I think of someone who hasn’t let bad circumstances define them, I think of Kevin Ogar. If you don’t know who he is, look him up; it’s worth the time. In January of 2014 he was paralyzed from the waist down after a weightlifting accident. If you check out his Instagram page, there are a few posts from the weekend the accident occurred (prior to the incident) and then nothing for a month. The very next post is a video of him re-learning how to swim. No hospital photo. No “poor me” photo. No “look at what happened to me…isn’t it horrible? photo. Just photos of him moving forward. Doing what he could with what he had. Embracing his new normal. I’m sure he went through all the emotions, questions, and had moments of total despair, but he also chose to turn this giant obstacle into a chance to take on life as being full of new opportunities.

Pretty inspiring isn’t it?

Have you ever given someone advice and almost immediately turned around and had to take that advice yourself?

Last week a good friend was telling me she was at a loss for what to do with a tough relationship in her own life and I told her about my letter-writing technique, which she gratefully tried. Several days later, here I am, writin’ letters of my own.

I have written many letters to people over the years. Generally these are people I’m struggling to communicate verbally with, or who have hurt me, or me them. Some of these have been to people who aren’t even part of my life anymore, but who have warranted me sorting through our past issues on paper. Letters to family, friends, ex’s and even myself. 

Some of these letters have found their way to their subjects, but many have not. A lot of times, just writing out my thoughts “to” them is enough for me to be able to let go and forgive any hurt, bad feelings or resentment I’ve harbored. Sometimes I’ve recognized that the problem was never with the other person, but was hidden in my own personal struggles and hangups.

I wrote my stepson one of these letters last week in the midst of a communication breakdown. Interactions had become tense and we had exchanged unpleasant words. This letter was one I delivered. He deserved to read those words, especially the apology part. Writing allowed me to process my own feelings without the emotion of the in-person conversation. In doing so I was able to cut through the barriers of my own pride and stubbornness, remember the love I have for him, choose THAT, and go from there. We moved on to yet another chapter in the “Dawn trying to figure out stepparenting” book. It’s quite a read, let me tell ya.

Relationships are so important. Sometimes we treat the people we care deeply about the worst. But I don’t want it to end there, excusing bad behavior. I want to purposefully move forward, working on improving the relationships around me starting with myself, my flaws, my shortcomings, and my responsibility.

Is there any relationship in your life that writing a letter would help? Help you? Help them? Repair damage? Extend forgiveness to? Forgive, whether or not they ever even ask for it? Let go and move on? Try it out and see how you feel after. I’d love to know how it goes for you.

Check your mail. 

Even though personality tests describe mine as having more extroverted tendencies, I’m really quite often an introvert. I enjoy, even prefer, doing things solo, especially when it comes to my outdoor adventures: hiking, skiing, and backpacking, specifically. I can go at my own pace, be with my own thoughts, stop when I want, stay at a summit as long or as short as I want, and just do my own thing. However, I have learned some pretty valuable lessons inviting others into my excursions, as well as accepting invitations to theirs. These are things I just don’t think I’d learn always rolling solo.

Sharing an outdoor experience with others creates a stronger bond to them.

People open up outdoors. At least, in my experience, they do. And so do I! There’s something about breathing fresh air and doing something challenging together that breaks down any barriers that might be up in another setting. It levels the “playing field” so-to-speak and often lowers inhibitions we hold onto. I’ve heard some very personal stories while walking down a trail, as well as shared some of mine, simply because I felt comfortable doing so. 

Just last week I went on a 5-day backpacking trip with a friend I knew only casually through the gym prior to us going. There’s nothing like living in the woods for 5 days to really enable you to get to know someone else. We bonded quicker than we even would just seeing each other a few times a week. These moments of vulnerability inevitably bring you closer to whomever you’re sharing with. Of course, there are those circumstances where it can go the other way as well, creating more of a rift with someone- but that’s yet to happen for me personally.

Sharing an outdoor experience with others can take the awe-factor to another level.

Yeah, I’ve cried over a view before. I’m not too ashamed to admit it. Every time this has happened, I’ve actually been with other people. The first time was in Torres del Paine National Park in Patagonia when we crested over the summit of the Base of the Towers hike. Not only was it jaw-droppingly beautiful, but when I looked around and saw other’s reactions, especially my husband’s wide eyes and wonder, it brought my stoke level to new heights. I couldn’t contain myself! It was truly unforgettable. I believe that we can be affected by the emotions of others, so when it’s a reaction to an awesome view, encounter, or accomplishment, we’re going to feel that if we’re in the same vicinity, in the best way.

Sharing an outdoor experience with others can build your own character.

One of the reasons I like hiking solo is because I enjoy a quicker pace; I love elevating my heart rate and sweating. Sometimes groups of people can be difficult to hike in when there are varying paces at play. One of my favorite phrases is “just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” I take this to mean that sometimes there is a bigger reason to sacrifice what you want or are able to do for the good of others. 

While in Ecuador at a women’s retreat put on by my best friend in 2018, we did a high elevation hike to a Refugio (refuge) that was sitting at almost 16,000’. Although these women were fit, some of them were understandably struggling with the elevation. I had arrived a few days earlier and felt adjusted to it, but instead of charging ahead on this particular hike, I made the conscious decision to stay with the gals that were having the toughest time. Through a lot of encouragement, every woman made it to the Refugio. Some of them cried when they got there; witnessing their joy and tears was more special to me than making it there first. I would have missed that if I wouldn’t have tapped into my patience and understanding, slowed down, and remembered that just because I could, didn’t mean I should. I’ll remember that hike forever, not because of the elevation, the accomplishment, or the view, but for the time I was able to spend with those women on our way up and their pure joy when they made it.

I still adventure regularly by myself- it’s therapeutic for me. However, these lessons have been invaluable in shaping me as a person and a friend.  Experiences solo are incredibly powerful. They build confidence and courage. But sharing my adventure time with others teaches me something new every time I do it. Opening myself to adventuring with others has changed my view of myself, them, and the incredible place I call my best side- outside. 

Heads up! There are a few photos in this post of my feet issues due to blisters on our thru-hike from last summer. If that stuff grosses you out, consider yourself warned!

In July and August of 2019, my husband Darren and I took on a thru-hike (a continuous journey end-to-end connecting our footsteps from start to finish in one trip) of the Tahoe Rim Trail (TRT), a loop trail that goes the entire way around Lake Tahoe. It’s somewhere between 165-185 miles long, depending on the GPS unit you’re using, summiting mountain passes, winding through stunning valleys and meadows, and giving you breathtaking views of the lake and it’s surrounding area. It is adventure at its greatest.

When we decided to do this over the previous winter, I dove right into preparation and planning. We hadn’t ever done anything like this before (13 days of continuous backpacking with multiple resupply points) and figuring out our gear and logistics turned into a part-time job over the months leading up to the hike. I also began to prepare physically, hiking multiple times during the week and increasing mileage and weight as we got closer to July. Darren works full time and has very little free time, but he also tried to hike a few times before our departure. Almost every conversation and decision last spring had something to do with the TRT.

When we hit the trail, I felt prepared, excited, and so ready. The planning was so extensive that the first few miles of trail felt surreal. We were DOING what we’d spent so long preparing for. All the hard work was being put Into action with each step we took down the trail. The first few days flew by. My body felt amazingly strong; of course I was sore and tired at the end of each day but not enough to distract from what we were doing out there. It was incredible. 

Enter day 4…our first resupply, the replenishing of our food and swapping out some gear. It was a fun morning, meeting our good friends in a beautiful spot on the trail, getting spoiled by them making us coffee and bringing us actual chairs to relax in for a few hours, then getting accompanied by them and their family hiking with us for a few miles of the next leg of the trail. Almost immediately after our goodbyes to them, we began a long, hot, rocky climb into the Desolation Wilderness. The excitement of the morning began to fade, and, suddenly, I could feel my feet, hot and sore, inside my trail running shoes. I thew some preventative blister care tape on them and attempted to ignore them, attributing their issues to this technical part of the trail and its softball-sized, sharp rocks. As the day went on and we entered into one of the most visually beautiful sections of the trail, my feet got worse and worse. I thought jumping into one of the lakes would make the pain all go away and, while it felt amazing, they were still screaming at me with each step. It took every ounce of will to hike the final mile of that 16-mile day.

Peeling off my socks at our camp that night, I discovered the beginning stages of several blisters on both feet, the worst being on the bottom of each foot. I was very angry, and, laying in my tent that night, I did some serious self-inquiry. How could this be happening? I prepared for this. I went into the trail with 300+ miles of hiking under my feet. These weren’t new shoes and they had never given me trouble before! Why were my feet failing me? WHY?!

And then it hit me- this wasn’t something I was doing to check off my list and just get through so I could say I did it. This was something to experience: every mile, every mosquito bite, every view, and yes, every single blister. I decided to turn my frustration into a mantra: It’s All Part of the Experience. I can’t tell you how many times I said that to myself and to Darren over the following days and miles. I knew that I had to accept what was happening as just another part of the adventure we were on. Was it ideal? Heck no! But it was happening, I couldn’t stop it, and I certainly was going to keep moving forward as long as I could. 9 blisters between both feet, 75ish miles of a very awkward gait walking on the outside of both feet (thank GOD for trekking poles!), a meltdown after one of the worst blisters popped while walking through a beautiful meadow, and a lot of time getting good at applying moleskin and tape (thank God even MORE for my ultra-prepared and patient husband who rocked the whole trail and only got one blister!), my feet finally gave me some relief. Either that or I became numb to the pain (or perhaps learned whatever lesson was attached to this!).

It was truly all part of the experience. It was the biggest challenge of our thru-hike for me personally, but it gave me the opportunity to let go of the expectations I had about the trail and push through adversity, growing along the way. It was a chance to put my mental toughness and grit to the test, and it also showed me I had the ability to surrender my own ideas and live in the reality of the present. 

Isn’t life just like that? We plan, prepare, expect…and then a curveball is thrown our way. We can react with anger, frustration, and bitterness (ALL of which are completely human, by the way) or we can recognize that it might just be an opportunity to strengthen our “let go and trust” muscle and learn something about ourselves along the way. This is generally something we cannot learn by reading about it or hearing someone else’s story. It must be experienced firsthand, no matter how painful it is. 

Looking back, I can honestly say that I am thankful for those blisters. Say what? I mean, yes, of course I wish that every step didn’t feel like fire for those miles of the trail, but I also know I’m stubborn and that most of my biggest life lessons have been accompanied by some challenge, pain, and adversity. So for that, I am grateful, because after all, it’s ALL part of the experience. 

Fear and anxiety can cripple. My mind can turn a small, nagging worry into a giant monster. Circumstances are often uncontrollable, but I’ve spend hours, days, months, even years being consumed with anxiety over things beyond my control. I attended a women’s adventure retreat several years ago and was blown away by how much we all discussed anxiety. This isn’t new, isn’t rare, and I’m not alone.

Today I journaled about fear. Getting my fears and worries into words often removes some of the power they hold over me. This morning it was about my family, specifically my step kids. I chose to write down as many “what ifs” that I could think of specifically related to my worries. You might think this could induce a full state of panic but it didn’t. It was actually calming to get it all out on paper. It gave me a chance to see them written out, realize what was and what wasn’t even possible, what was and what wasn’t within my control, and then to let go of some of the possibilities I’d been churning over and over inside my brain for the better part of the last few days. 

I then wrote about the truths I know. There are just some things that I KNOW are true because God says they are and I trust Him and the abilities and qualities and traits He has given me. I also trust and believe that He is who He says He is. I wrote down all the things I know to be true that pertained to my fears. This helped me. It didn’t eliminate the fear and anxiety, but it changed it into something that might not even be mine to worry about. I changed my perspective from one that was narrow and focused on little details into something that looked at the bigger picture, focusing instead on being grateful for what I have instead of wishing things were different.

Finding something or someone you believe to be trustworthy and letting that something or someone speak into your life can help change the way you look at things in the best way. It also shows you that you aren’t alone, which is a huge gift in a world that is slowly isolating itself behind tiny screens and profiles and highlight reels of photos. 

I worry a lot about a lot. It can easily consume me. Whether it’s not feeling adequate, overthinking the future (which hasn’t even happened yet!), unhappiness with my body (I’m too ______ or I wish I was more like ____ ), step momming (am I doing it “right”?…whatever that means), money (will I have enough for the future?…which again hasn’t even happened and isn’t a guarantee; am I spending it right? how can I get more?), relationships with friends and family…the list can go on and on and on…worrying about them adds nothing to my life. In fact it steals the joy out of each of those minutes, days, months, and years. Ain’t nobody gonna steal the joy in my heart!

So I write. I acknowledge fear’s existence. I let go. I pray. I move forward, knowing that I can either give life to the fear that arises or I can give it up, knowing that in doing so I’ll find peace. And peace brings me into the present, which is where I want to live. 

When you decide to make a job change, the first question that 99% (that’s an official polled number) of people ask is “so…what are you going to do?” This is the majority first response I’ve gotten both times I’ve decided to make a job change in my adult life, so you would think I would be used to it by now. Heck, I’m sure I’ve even asked it a time or two when people have told me they were making a job change in their own life.

The fact that a question is the initial response isn’t a bad thing; questions seek additional understanding about something or someone. When you have a response that is deemed socially acceptable, i.e., something lined up to hop into the Monday after the Friday you leave your previous gig, then said person generally seems satisfied and even approving of your response. If you don’t have anything lined up…purposefully…you’re generally left trying to spin your words into something that doesn’t sound all Millennial-ish (think, “I’m leaving to pursue my passion!” or “I just want to work less and get paid more for what I do”…ick). It can be a little stressful to navigate how to have an answer when your answer is answerless, or difficult to sum up in a short conversation.

Having been in both places, leaving a job with a definite plan and leaving a job with a plan to take a break (no plan at all quite yet), telling people about my decision was something I thought about a lot. Ok, let’s be honest, maybe way too much. As a lifelong people pleaser, having the right thing to say in every situation, especially when it comes to employment/paychecks/what I’m DOing has been important to me. I’m working on changing that. 

When did “what we do” become “who we are”? When you meet a new person, one of the initial icebreaking, get to know you questions is often “what do YOU do?” When I began coaching CrossFit after resigning from my Forest Service job, I realized that yes, coaching was my primary job but a close second was getting to know the people in my classes. This was one of my leading questions, but from past experience, knew just asking, “what do you do?” could put a lot of unintentional pressure on the individual being asked. I started adding -for work- or -for fun- or -with your days- to the end of this question to leave it a little more open for response. I felt better and I’m sure a few others did as well.

We so closely associate what we do for work to our personal identity. “I’m a firefighter/doctor/lawyer/CrossFit coach” puts you in a category: one that others can identify with. When your answer is vague or not mainstream or simply “I’m between jobs at the moment”, we fear judgement or maybe we even are the ones judging someone whose answer falls into that vein. Most people spend a lot of their time AT work, or thinking about work, or working when they’re supposed to be off, so it’s understandable that we identify ourselves with what we do. But we’re more than that, aren’t we? In my opinion, yes, we are.

Right now I’m at a place in my life where I have the ability to take some time to think about what it is I’m going to do next. I’m excited about this; I’ve never really given myself a chance to just stop and…think. Dream. Create. Be. By default and opportunity, I’ve had some amazing experiences with the jobs I’ve had thus far. I look at this time as just another page in the book, or another leg of the trail. This one is one that allows me to be available instead of overscheduled and present instead of busy, and let me tell ya, amazing things come from being both available and present at the same time.

Am I trying to figure out my next move? Constantly. However, I’m working on not letting a title or a paycheck or socially acceptable answer define me. Who I am is and has always been very different than what I do for work.

So what am I going to do? You’re looking at it.