What are you going to DO?

When you decide to make a job change, the first question that 99% (that’s an official polled number) of people ask is “so…what are you going to do?” This is the majority first response I’ve gotten both times I’ve decided to make a job change in my adult life, so you would think I would be used to it by now. Heck, I’m sure I’ve even asked it a time or two when people have told me they were making a job change in their own life.

The fact that a question is the initial response isn’t a bad thing; questions seek additional understanding about something or someone. When you have a response that is deemed socially acceptable, i.e., something lined up to hop into the Monday after the Friday you leave your previous gig, then said person generally seems satisfied and even approving of your response. If you don’t have anything lined up…purposefully…you’re generally left trying to spin your words into something that doesn’t sound all Millennial-ish (think, “I’m leaving to pursue my passion!” or “I just want to work less and get paid more for what I do”…ick). It can be a little stressful to navigate how to have an answer when your answer is answerless, or difficult to sum up in a short conversation.

Having been in both places, leaving a job with a definite plan and leaving a job with a plan to take a break (no plan at all quite yet), telling people about my decision was something I thought about a lot. Ok, let’s be honest, maybe way too much. As a lifelong people pleaser, having the right thing to say in every situation, especially when it comes to employment/paychecks/what I’m DOing has been important to me. I’m working on changing that. 

When did “what we do” become “who we are”? When you meet a new person, one of the initial icebreaking, get to know you questions is often “what do YOU do?” When I began coaching CrossFit after resigning from my Forest Service job, I realized that yes, coaching was my primary job but a close second was getting to know the people in my classes. This was one of my leading questions, but from past experience, knew just asking, “what do you do?” could put a lot of unintentional pressure on the individual being asked. I started adding -for work- or -for fun- or -with your days- to the end of this question to leave it a little more open for response. I felt better and I’m sure a few others did as well.

We so closely associate what we do for work to our personal identity. “I’m a firefighter/doctor/lawyer/CrossFit coach” puts you in a category: one that others can identify with. When your answer is vague or not mainstream or simply “I’m between jobs at the moment”, we fear judgement or maybe we even are the ones judging someone whose answer falls into that vein. Most people spend a lot of their time AT work, or thinking about work, or working when they’re supposed to be off, so it’s understandable that we identify ourselves with what we do. But we’re more than that, aren’t we? In my opinion, yes, we are.

Right now I’m at a place in my life where I have the ability to take some time to think about what it is I’m going to do next. I’m excited about this; I’ve never really given myself a chance to just stop and…think. Dream. Create. Be. By default and opportunity, I’ve had some amazing experiences with the jobs I’ve had thus far. I look at this time as just another page in the book, or another leg of the trail. This one is one that allows me to be available instead of overscheduled and present instead of busy, and let me tell ya, amazing things come from being both available and present at the same time.

Am I trying to figure out my next move? Constantly. However, I’m working on not letting a title or a paycheck or socially acceptable answer define me. Who I am is and has always been very different than what I do for work.

So what am I going to do? You’re looking at it.